| | I finally feel like writing, but it's hard for the right words to come.
It's been a while since my last serious blog about anything, but I feel
like it's time for me to talk about a few things. My future, life,
friends, etc.
Those in the know will be glad to hear that it'll all be over (or
start?) in the next month. Those not in the know, you're that way for a
reason. No offense to you, but I just don't feel comfortable letting
everyone know about what is going on in my life right now.
There's a list of people in my head that I've disappointed over the
last six months. I could list names, but I don't really feel like it.
To those people, you will never know the depths of my lament and
sorrow. Certain actions I have performed are nothing short of appalling
and embarrassing, and the consequences of those actions will follow me
for the rest of my life.
I'm not going to lie, I've contemplated a lot of extremely stupid or
regrettable things, but you'll all be pleased to know that logic
overrides my stupidity on those issues. If only logic would have been
applicable some months ago. Then I wouldn't be in this situation.
I've cried myself to sleep quite a few nights lately. I've prepared for
what's to come for a long time, but it still all seems like it's coming
too fast. It's almost like a final exam in high school. You know
exactly WHEN it is, but even the night before, you're stressing out
because you still think you need more time. I know I need no more time,
but it still feels like I do.
I don't want to have to look back at memories of people and miss them.
I've already done that with too many of you. Through the least two
years, I've been through the worst and best times of my life. I just
want to be able to go home and rest somehow. I know it won't happen,
but I can always hope.
The first round of goodbyes started tonight. Those who I won't see ever
again. Those who will go on to do great things, will any of them truly
remember me? Possibly in passing moments, or in a joking reference
about a pertinent topic, but have I really made a good enough impact on
anyone's life to have them truly remember me? I'd like to think that I
have in a few cases, but only time will tell in that case.
I would like everyone's addresses. I want to write you, if I can.
Sorry for being so vague, but my thoughts are well-blended brain matter right now. I may try to add more later, but who knows.
Love goes out to those who truly deserve it. You know who you are. Respect to all who read these words.
- PFC Giles, Wayne F
BBN Operator
CCP, 509th Signal Battalion
Vicenza, Italy
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| | Posted 11/12/2007 9:49 PM - 59 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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